Jack City

My name is Scott Miles. I'm a Cleveland native and a die-hard Cleveland sports fan. I am in my second year at Capital University where I write for the school paper, work in the Sports Information Department, and used to play baseball and golf. This blog focuses on Cleveland and Ohio State sports, along with Capital. Feel free to give me feedback!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Today's post isn't for sports, but rather for my fellow Capital University undergraduate students.

I worked until about 5:45 today and my friend Sean called me to go eat at the MDR, our school cafeteria. I wondered aloud how late it stayed open, which turned out to be 6:00. Why the only cafeteria on campus would close at 6:00 (and the Cru Club isn't even open Saturday's) is beyond me, so we hustled over and got in a few minutes before closing.

I wasn't expecting to find much food there since it would shut down soon, and I wasn't surprised to see everything had been picked over. I took two pieces of pizza and sat down by the TV with Sean, Chris and Tyler to watch the slaughter of Brady Quinn and Co. at the hands of Michigan. I finished my first slice and began eating the second when I noticed a long strand of hair by the crust.

I pulled the hair out of my pizza and took it up to the front desk. Mortified, the ID swiper (I have no idea what her official title is, or if she even has one) told me to put the hair down on the table and she would find her supervisor. A few minutes later, ID Swiper came over to my table with a piece of paper and a pen. "Write your name down, you get a complimentary meal."

"Here?" I asked, a bit incredulous.

"Yeah," she replied.

"But I've already paid for all of my meals this year."

"Sorry, but that's the best we can do," she said before walking away.

After she left, I realized I wrote "Scott Miles" on the paper, while my first name is actually "Jeffrey". So I probably won't be getting that free meal, not that 1.) I could use it in the first place or 2.) That I wanted it from the MDR anyway.

Look, I love Capital - I have great friends here, and great opportunities with the golf team, the Sports Information Department and the "Chimes". But things are becoming borderline ridiculous now. I guess it really started when they took away the men's bathroom stall doors last year in S.S. Now, the bathroom's in the dorms won't be stocked with handsoap all year. Our cleaning service has been cut down severely. The MDR has limited it's food offerings, and an FYI: the Cru Club is no longer open on Friday nights like in the past. Also, you have a better chance catching Nicole Richie eating a cheeseburger than you do finding a parking place during the week.

Do you want me to go on? All right, just a few more things because I could fill a novel with rants. The library was shut down Labor Day - we were playing football on the Renner field right next to it, and I couldn't help but notice how many frustrated students were turned away. The Capital Center has reduced its hours. Due to the Mound St. construction, there is only one narrow pathway to get across campus (going through Saylor-Ackerman), and not only does it get congested, it's also tricky to walk through when it rains - just a few swampy puddles, wouldn't you say?

(On a side note, it is fun to mimic the Traffic Report going through there. "Things are backed up at the S.A. passageway, looks like a collision heading northbound. Bunch of rubberneckers have got you slowed down heading both ways, and congestion snakes all the way back from the S.A. Quad to the Campus Center. I would suggest a detour but there are none, save for walking all the way over to College Avenue or Pleasant Ridge. This is Sky Chief Rick Abel, WTAM, 1100.")

The university's motto - "The Education You Want, The Attention You Deserve" - has turned into a putdown around campus, and I'd like to think I helped popularize it. Printer not working in Schaaf's computer lab? "Capital University - The Education You Want, The Attention You Deserve." Random power outage at 5:30 a.m.? "Capital University - The Education You Want, The Attention You Deserve."

Will things turn around here at Capital? Yeah, I'd like to think so. It looks like most of the village idiots have left (including former president Ted Fredrickson, Ted Fehres, Don Aungst and my personal favorite, Shane Carlin). Once we get a handle on this budget deficit (unofficially projected in July at $12 million or so - what did we do, hire A-Rod to teach some classes at the Law School?), Capital should return to a somewhat normal functioning university.

Of course, the classes of 2009 and 2010 don't really know what a somewhat normal functioning university even looks like.


Anonymous Jordan Schoenfeld said...

Sounds like Stetson to me, if you ever want to see the letter I wrote to the first-year dean when I left there back in December ask me, it pretty much covered everything you said was wrong with Capital.

11:50 AM  
Blogger John Carlisle said...

FUCKING BRILLIANT COLUMN. THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OP-ED PIECE (with a little bit of revision.) Save it!

11:48 PM  

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